the ultimate meganova fic

chapter #1: welcome to earth, BITCH

It was an average day on earth and robo Sethie was just straight up chillin. Pokemon wasn't invented yet though so he was kind of bored.

"aww shit I hope they invent pokemon soon, I'm really bored," said sethie, who was bored.

suddenly he could sense something really weird though with his powers, like a big portal opening behind the moon. even though he liked to protect earth anyway, the US government told him to do it even More otherwise they'd dissect him and that would kind of suck. So he watched the thing, psychically, until he noticed it was a big-ass spaceship approaching the earth. It wasn't like Gigantic or anything but it was large enough to contain around 500 cybertronians in communal living. This was a really big coincdience because that's exactly how many cybertronians lived in it

It had some kind of cloaking technology which was pretty nice because it meant humans didn't notice it, but sethie was powerful enough to notice it and he was weighing his options on what to do. It would be really bad for him if these were hostile cybertronians and if they bullied the humans, and it would also make him really sad. At the same time, he kind of had social anxiety about approaching other cybertronians because he hadn't been on cybertron in like, 30 million years during his first incarnation.

The big-ass ship kept coming closer and was now orbiting the skies of earth though so he decided it would probably be for the best if he went and had a look just in case. Maybe he could make friends :)

in his current form, sethie had no wings because some asshole wizard had ripped them off a thousand years ago. He decided to project illusion wings though so it looked like he had wings because some people get really weirded out if you fly psychically but don't have any wings. He wanted to make a good first impression

he made it to the deck of the ship and landed very gently. "wow!" he thought. "That was really easy!"

Starscream was freaking the fuck out

"soundwave who the fuck is that?" he asked, pointing his fingers pointily at the security footage.

Soundwave was silent but zoomed in on the footage. It was a blue and grey robot with orange horns and orange wings and a grey tail. The horns part was kind of unnervving because cybteronian's version of satan has horns, but these ones were pointed downwards and not upwards so it was slightly less unnerving than it could have been. But it still had cultural significance. What was probably more unnerving was the big black scarring stretching all the way up and down his body, like this guy had been in some really bad battle or injury or something

"WHO is that?? How did he even find this ship, he's not even a decepticon" said starscream, wringing his hands. "SEND IN THE MOOKS"

Soundwave sent in the mooks

The mooks who were vehicons approached robo sethie on the deck with guns drawn. sethie waved and smiled

"Yo this ship fucks" said sethie. "Can you guys tell me who you are and what you're doing here?"

The casual cussing was very charismatic but the mooks had orders and shot at sethie, who didn't move at all. All the shots missed him because none of the mooks went to aiming practice. They all just kind of looked at each other and shrugged.

"Guess we can't defeat him," said one mook in cybertronian language, "lets call in the commanders and pretend we took devastating injuries"

"Agreed" said another mook, and they all ragdolled on the floor.

"what?? ALL of them were defeated??" said starscream who was mad

soundwvae just shrugged gently and played a disappointing fanfare.

"ok well then, shit, let's go sort this out ourselves," sighed starscream. "god knows megatron will kick my ass if he has to get involved in something like this."

Soundwave stared at him silently

"No, you're right, megatron would kick my ass anyway. God i hate my life"

The boys approached sethie on the deck of the ship which was covered in ragdolling vehicons, sethie very excitedly smiled and waved again when he saw them

"Yo these guys just straight-up took a nap, isn't that the wildest shit you've ever seen?" said sethie in english

"Wow is that this planet's language? Disgusting," said starscream in cybertronian.

"That's mean but understandable," said sethie, switching to cybertronian. "What brings you here?"

"none of your business" said starscream who was now firing his missles. Soundwave wasn't doing much but was, emotionally, doing the equivalent of eating popcorn

Sethie deflected the missiles very quickly with psychic energy and they exploded and it looked really cool. Some of the vehicons forgot they were playing dead and clapped a little

"Dude wtf" said starscream who was very offended his missiles got exploded. He didn't know what else to do so he ran up to sethie and tried to punch him and claw at him with his big talons (starscream has really long clawhands holy shit). However sethie just gently pushed starscream to the floor and starscream gave up and cried a little. Sethie wrapped him up in psychic power ribbons just to be sure that starscream wouldn't get up again and rip his dick off

Soundwave's general emotions were unreadable but he took a battle stance and rushed at sethie and they exchanged punches and deflections and it was really cool. Soundave has really long arms so he has a lot of range and he can hit really easy and also deflect really easily, but sethie has the advantage of sheer dumb force and also magic. He was sweating a little but pushed soundwave away with a low-energy, non-lethal energy blast, and then he quickly used an air blast from above to put soundwave on the floor and then also tied him up with psychic power ribbons before he could get up again.

Soundwave actually has a secret weapon though and he wasnt giving up. Laserbeak couldnt be deployed because he was tied up but he sent out his twin tendrils to try to slap sethie around, which was very surprising for sethie. Soon enough though he also tied up soundwave's tendrils and it was a gg. All of the vehicons clapped

"God damn it" said starscream. "WHat the fuck"

As fun as these shenanigans were, they didn't escape the notice of the rest of the ship. Some security mooks who were left in charge whilst starscream and soundwave got owned had the unfortunate duty of pinging megatron once they saw what happened on the cameras.

"Megatron sir, starscream and soundwave and a bunch of vehicons got owned by some rando who landed on the ship" said generic decepticon number 324

"Ha!" said megatron, turning back to his computer. He took a long sip of energon coffee.

"Sir I'm not joking we are having a crisis right now"

"...three million years." said Megatron, sighing with his face in his palm. "Three million years these incompetent fools have been a part of my army, and you're telling me that they have been thoroughly vanquished by some lone wolf on this insignificant, disgustingly hydrated little planet."

"Yes sir that's right sir"

Megatron knocked over the mook with one swing of his huge arms and angrily stormed out of his office to go see what the fuck was going on

"It was the wildest shit youve ever seen," said Sethie, who was sitting next to starscream. "TEN kittens and they were all so tiny"

"I'm still not sure if I have any interest or desire in learning about the weird fleshy creatures on this planet but ok" said starscream, who could not move due to still being tied up. Soundwave was just straight up chillin and probably watching space anime on his brain media center. The vehicons were there too because they had nowhere better to be

An ominous chill seemed to fill the air. A sense of foreboding. Everyone was silent and tense all of a sudden. Sethie didn't have much time to react

With blinding speed Megatron rushed out of the ship with his sword drawn, clashing with the sword that sethie had manifested. He was fast! Sparks were flying and sethie was deflecting slashes as quickly as he could, but Megatron was a really strong lad. He didn't know it at the time, but Megatron was also kind of struggling here because sethie's techniques weren't like anyone he'd ever fought before, and he had some muscle power behind him too. The swordfighting was almost too fast for onlookers to process, especially since most onlookers were laying on the ground and couldn't move much.

There was a very brief opening. Sethie did another small non-lethal energy blast just to push Megatron away a bit, and propelled himself backwards into the air where he glided with his fake wings and psychic powers to get some space. Megatron swiftly followed by transforming into his jet mode and pursuing, but was stunned when sethie suddenly shot hundreds of colourful fireballs in weaving and disorienting patterns. If youve seen touhou before it's that kind of shit. A kind of labyrinth of bullet patterns formed around megatron, obscuring sethie's location, but it was merely a distraction technique.

Sethie struck at blinding speed, surrounded in fiery energy, like a shooting star. Megatron was yeeted onto the deck and thoroughly owned and turned back into robot mode instead of jet mode. He was hurt so he was laying on the deck too now and groaning. Sethie hovered near the ship engulfed in his fiery energy, looking like a small sun, and it was really iconic and cool. He landed again and went over to Megatron and grabbed his hand.

Megatron was really apprehensive. Sethie pulled him to his feet and then smiled at him, and golden energy surrounded their arms and went to megatron's injuries, healing him. It was really warm and nice and megatron was stunned but as always he tried very hard to bury any positive feelings about any situation. He was also secretly mad because sethie kicked his ass

"Ok well that was fun but I hope nobody tries to fight me any more, I just wanna talk" said sethie, who went and freed starscream and soundwave too and healed up any injuries they had too. (starscream blushed because wow comfy healing energy warm nice) "so i'll ask again, what brings you to this planet?"

"Energon, mainly," said Megatron, narrowing his eyes at the intruder.

"Oh, understandable" said sethie, who was sweating from all the effort of kicking asses. "I could probably help with that. But most importantly, there's native life on this planet that I'd really appreciate if you didn't harm or come into contact with. They're called humans and they're fleshy and weird but I'm looking out for them."

"Seems reasonable." The image of this draconic robot burning like a sun was very impactful and was very convincing of that fact that the Decepticons probably shouldn't try to fight him again any time soon. At least, not without learning more about his abilities and making adequate preparations. Perhaps he could even be of use as an ally with such impressive powers.

"Ok, cool!" said sethie. "I gotta go do some other stuff today but uh, I'll check back tomorrow, and maybe we could get to know each other? And I can help with the energon stuff. Again, just don't bother the humans please. Or I'll have to kick your ass again LOL"

"I've had enough ass-kickings for one day" said starscream. Megatron glared at him and starscream nervously chuckled

"Ok well, see you later then!" and Sethie flew away down to some other place on earth, because he didn't yet want to reveal to the decepticons that he could just create portals just in case that's ever plot relevant.

"Jesus fucking Christ," said Megatron, or at least the cybertronian language equivalent of what such an expression would be, hand on his brow. It seemed this planet would be slightly more trouble than expected.

Soundwave played a laugh track and everyone groaned and went back to work. Until this weird, strong guy came back, they had time to figure out how to deal with this.

It was really weird because sethie kicked their asses really easily, but he also got really really sweaty and cybertronians typically only generate sweat when they're sick. Also the weird black scars along the entire length of his body and face was really fucking weird. And the horns too. Somehow, this guy exuded a positive, sweet energy, yet was also weirdly intimidating because of the aforementioned reasons. He also didn't introduce himself with a cybertronian name, so as their culture dictates they had to make up nicknames for him until something stuck.

A few nicknames were tossed around as the lads and mooks gossiped. "Sunshine", "laserflame", "sunburst", all kinds of names. But one name with cultural and powerful significance was "Nova", the name one of the Primes had once worn, and that's the one that seemed to stick most of all. What started as a venture onto a new planet looking for resources had turned into a shocking encounter, and the whole ship was abuzz. What kind of robot was Nova, to be able to shoot energy and fireballs and turn into a fucking mini sun and kick Megatron's ass? Nobody kicked megatron's ass, except optimus prime sometimes

One thing's for certain: this shit is wild

What a day

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